Save a book (and your sanity)

Happy May Day, and congrats to everyone who completed the A to Z Challenge!

Have you seen this lovely image? I love it. Simply brilliant.

source*

*Okay, I can't provide the source for that, because someone emailed it to me. I think it's going around Facebook, and if you happen to know who created it, please let me know, so I can give them credit for it.

On a separate (yet very much related) note, did you know this week is Screen-Free Week? Yesterday marked the first day of an entire week in which kids (in particular, but everyone, really) unplug. No TV, no video games, no DVDs/NetFlix/[insert entertainment media of choice here]. It's intended primarily for children, many of whom watch over 30 hours of TV a week (an average of 32 hours per week for preschool children, and it goes up from there--that's more than four hours a day for 3 and 4-year-olds!) source.

That's a whole lot of screen time, which has been shown to increase obesity and other health problems, not to mention stifle creativity (source). So this week is all about unplugging.

What to do instead?

Get outside! It's spring, go enjoy it. Not only will it allow your brain to process something ... you know ... real, it will also reduce stress, improve your attention span (really!), and help you find a solution to that problem you've been wrestling. Check out more on the benefits of nature in this post.

Go read a book! Recent studies have shown that fiction can have extensive benefits, in particular by stimulating empathy and thereby reducing social friction. If you haven't seen this article in the Boston Globe, go check it out--it's fascinating.

Do both at the same time! You can't lose, it's like earning bonus points for your life: improved social functioning, less stress, and improved cognitive functioning all wrapped into one delicious, engaging novel read in the out-of-doors.

So, in honor of all those fallen books, let's go screenless (not completely--I know we all have work to do). Maybe our collective outpouring of empathy can ease the social friction cause by *ahem* certain television shows.

What will you read this week?

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No comprende

I started a Spanish class this week. My 4-year-old son is learning Spanish, and I thought it might be useful to have some idea what he's saying. And it will come in handy when we go to Costa Rica this summer.

There's also the fact that French and German (my other foreign languages) just aren't commonly encountered here in the U.S., but Spanish is everywhere. I think it's important to have at least a grasp of basic words and phrases, and some understanding of other cultures. Yes, the official language here is English, but Spanish--and Spanish-speaking immigrants--are here to stay. It will make life easier for everyone if we all make at least a small effort to understand each other.

It's also humbling to put yourself in the shoes of a person who doesn't speak the local language well. It reminds you that just because they don't speak well doesn't mean they're stupid (which I think a lot of people tend to believe). Far from it. It simply means they don't speak it well, or aren't comfortable doing so.

How do I know? I spent five years as the person who didn't speak the native language. I am an articulate person (when I've had my morning coffee), a well-educated person (I didn't spend six years in graduate school for nothin'). But for the first several years we lived in Germany, I dreaded having to talk to anyone in--gasp--German.

source

Why? Because every time I had to talk to someone about something, one of several things would happen. Early on, my brain would go into its default foreign language mode (French), and I would say some bizarre combination of French and German (once with a little Italian thrown in--don't ask me where that came from). The person to whom I was speaking would look at me like I was an idiot, then automatically switch to English.

As I learned more German, I would carefully figure out how to properly say something, so I knew the other person would understand. I knew I'd come a long way when he/she would respond in German. But then I was stuck, either unable to understand what they had said or unable to figure out how to respond. After a few moments of struggling, the other person would switch to English.

After several years, my level of comprehension improved greatly, but there still wasn't that natural response just forming in my mind. I still wasn't thinking in German, which meant that I had to translate what they had said into English, then translate my English response into German. This process takes time--a few minutes if you want to get all your verbs and modifiers in the right places--and by then I was usually getting one of those looks that made it clear the person thought I was an idiot. And then they would switch to English. Or, if the person didn't speak English, they would wave me off.

It is incredibly humbling to be treated like an idiot when, in fact, you know you are not (usually).

We take communication for granted, particularly here in the United States, where we expect everyone to speak English. Very few people here make the effort to learn another language, unless it is required for school. And I am the first to admit, it is extremely difficult to learn another language when you have no chance to practice using it. The U.S. is a huge country. When you drive from one state to the next, the language stays the same. It's not like Europe, where you go from one country another and change languages. To be like that here, almost every state would need to speak a different language. We just don't have that incentive to learn.

Unfortunately, our lack of willingness to learn another language is viewed negatively by other nations. They resent that we come to their countries and expect them to speak our language. Rightfully so. We expect people coming here to speak English, so we should do them the same courtesy of making an attempt to speak their language. And really, the effort goes a long way.

So now I'm speaking some bizarre combination of German, French, and Spanish (Gernchish? Fremanish? Spamanch?). People will look at me like I'm an idiot when we go to Costa Rica, I'm sure. But I'll get a few words and phrases right, I'll make the effort. And that goes a very long way.

Adiós mes amies. Ich wünchen Ihnen un buenos dias.

What experiences have you had with foreign languages (whether you speak or others were speaking to you)?

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U is for Unprepared

The end of the alphabet completely snuck up on me. So I am completely unprepared for the letter U.

source

But since today is World Malaria Day, here's a little something to consider.

• Half of the world's population—3.3 billion people—are at risk of contracting malaria. (source)
• Between 300 and 500 million people contract malaria each year, and one million of those die. (source)
• 650,000 children under age 5 die of malaria each year; that's 65% of total malaria deaths and the third leading cause of under-five mortality. (source) 
• Malaria contributes to the continuing cycle of poverty in developing nations. (source)

Ready for some good news?

• Malaria is caused by a protozoan parasite transmitted by the Anopheles mosquito. (As an interesting tidbit: only female mosquitoes bite; males eat pollen and are an important part of the ecosystem.)  
• Anopheles mosquitoes are active at night, biting while people sleep. (source)
• Bed nets can cut incidences of malaria by at least 25%. (source)
• You can donate a bed net and save a life for as little as $5 through Malaria No More or Nothing But Nets. 

Think of it as paying it forward. You don't suffer from malaria; help others to achieve the same goal. 

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Foresight

A few years ago, in my online Ecological Issues course, I had a student who took me by surprise. We were discussing various energy alternatives, and I was trying to give them a balanced view (each and every option has benefits and drawbacks; there is no panacea). This student ranted against nuclear power. In each and every post, he was vehemently against it.

Now such strong opposition to something is unusual in college students (in my experience). I usually find myself trying to pull them out of a state of apathy. Keep in mind, the class was online, and I had never met my students. So it wasn't until this particular student turned in his final paper at the end of the semester that I understood.

He was from Japan. He was vehemently anti-nuclear because of the earthquakes there. What if, he argued, there was a big one? What would happen to the reactors?

And now we watch, hoping the emergency teams may somehow manage to prevent a complete meltdown. People who survived first the earthquake and then the tsunami are now at risk of high doses of radiation. A slow, painful, alternative. Talk about foresight.

You may have heard, but Rachael Harrie, Marieke, Luna, Tessa Quin, and Amanda Milner have started Write Hope, a charity auction to support relief efforts in Japan.

Write Hope's mascot Nozomi

If you have something to donate: ARCs, critiques, or anything else kidlit, please donate!

And if you don't, please participate in the auction. All proceeds will be donated to the Save the Children emergency relief fund for Japan.

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Poetry Friday: Frost's Mending Wall

I have finally gotten around to reading Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire. (Yes, I know, I should be mocked... send your mockingjays my way).

The image of the walls and fences that separate the people in the Districts is vivid in my mind. Last fall we celebrated the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, and while I am not interested in discussing politics here, the images dovetail with  recent political rallies in the U.S. 

I guess you could say that walls, and the purpose of walls, are fresh in my  mind. 

Mending Wall
by Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me~
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors." 

(from http://writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/frost-mending.html)

I love the way Frost frames his questions about walls: why have them? what purpose do they serve? But most telling, I think, are the last three lines. "He will not go behind his father's saying/ And he likes having thought of it so well/ He says again, 'Good fences make good neighbors.'"  Do they?

Poetry Friday is hosted by Susan Taylor Brown.

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Listening, really listening

I often get the sense that the world is full of people shouting to have their voices and opinions heard, yet no one seems to stop to listen to what others say. We all want someone to listen to us, but how often do we stop to listen to others, to consider their side of an issue? This is particularly true in politics, as people become more and more divided, more extreme in their positions, and less likely to pay attention to what the other side has to say. But does it have to be this way?

I recently read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, and the information he wrote about 70 years ago is as relevant today as ever. I would even venture to say that we need it more now than ever. He spends several chapters on the importance of listening. If we try to convince someone of our ideas by talking, by telling them how wrong they are, all we do is help them dig in their heels. But when we take time to listen, to let others feel that they have been heard and that their opinions are valued, we can find common ground and solve problems.

Last week, I wrote about Adele Diamond and what she calls tools of the mind. My focus was on the educational benefits of free play and creativity, but just as important are the social benefits. Dr. Diamond advocates a set of educational techniques that foster listening and collaboration.

Starting with the preschool level, children can be taught to start listening to each other. Some schools do this with a paired activity, in which two children are given a picture book, and one child gets to tell the story to the other. Naturally, both children want to tell the story (ever tried to get a 4-year-old to sit and listen?). To help foster listening skills, one child is given a card with a picture of an ear on it, and the other a card with a mouth. The one with a mouth gets to tell the story, because mouths can talk. But the child with the ear must listen. The cards play an important role in fostering attentive behavior, because children know ears cannot talk, they only listen.

In many traditional cultures, a talking stick was used in the same way. The person with the stick can talk, and they can talk until they feel they have been understood by the others. As Dr. Diamond points out, the purpose of the talking stick is not to foster talking, but rather to foster attentiveness and listening in members of the audience.

Improvisational storytelling is a great activity to foster collaboration and attentiveness among older children (and adults). One individual begins the story, and the next must continue it. Only by listening to what others have said can the story be continued. These activities are also particularly fun, since they take frequent unexpected twists and turns. What better way to learn to listen and collaborate?

Listening. Being attentive. Trying to collaborate. Those are the first steps toward understanding others. We may not agree on everything (what a boring world we would live in if we did), but we can strive to understand each other better. And we may  just find that we agree on more than we realized.

I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person. The way in which I have worded this statement may seem strange to you. Is it necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel "that's right," or "that's stupid," "that's abnormal," "that's unreasonable," "that's incorrect," "that's not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.

Carl. R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person (Houghton Mifflin, 1961), from Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (revised edition, Pocket Books, 1981).

Understanding others is one of the fundamental components of compassion. Put yourself in someone else's shoes for a bit. Think about what they want, and take some time to listen. Does it change the way you interact with others?

Creativity and Compassion

This is one of those weeks... I have multiple deadlines, sick children to tend to, and absolutely no time for creative pursuits (I don't even have time for my morning pages—ack!). So I'm not writing much today, other than to link to a few other, thoughtful sites.

• See Soul Shelter for some thoughts on creating a cultural bill of rights. 
• The Compassionate Action Network will be hosting a festival of compassion tomorrow to honor Seattle as the first city to adopt the Charter for Compassion. (Have you affirmed the charter, yet?)
• And Sunday is World Malaria Day. Those of us fortunate enough to live in areas unaffected by malaria don't often consider its impact, but please consider helping the fight against this disease, to break the cycle of illness and poverty affecting people in many developing nations.

Do something compassionate this weekend. Then come back here and tell us what it was, how it felt, who benefited from your actions.

Charter for Compassion

I seem to have a theme for the week... yesterday the Charter for Compassion was launched in Washington D.C. It is the culmination of an effort by Karen Armstrong, winner of the 2008 TED prize. Her wish when she won: for help creating, launching, and propagating a Charter for Compassion.



This respected religious scholar had found, though her own loss of faith, the thread that ties together all of the ethical, spiritual, and religious traditions: compassion. The Charter for Compassion attempts to bring together people from all cultures to rediscover our common humanity. Please read the Charter for Compassion, and affirm it by clicking on "Affirm the Charter" below the video and entering your name and email address.

The Charter is based on the Golden Rule: Do not do unto others, as you would not have them do unto you. Or as Confucius said, "Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." I cannot see anything more important in a world where people twist religious doctrine to suit their political purposes (I speak broadly, this happens everywhere), where people walk past those in need, and where competition runs amok, benefiting the few while leaving many in the dust.

St. Martin's Day

Today is St. Martin's Day, when we celebrate the kindness of St. Martin, a soldier who came upon a beggar in a snowstorm. Martin cut his cloak in half to prevent the man from freezing.

It's a lovely thing to celebrate: kindness. There's simply not enough of it in this world. We have plenty of days to honor the outcome of violence, to celebrate victory, to honor those who died, but too few of our celebrations focus on the truly positive. The beauty of celebrating kindness is that it reminds us of the power we hold, simply by listening to and helping one another.

In Germany, St. Martin's Day is celebrated in a beautiful way, with lantern festivals to light the long night. Darkness comes early this time of year (already!). For the past few weeks, children have been making lanterns, which they illuminate and carry during a lantern festival. Throughout the neighborhoods are lantern parades, songs, and often a bonfire.

We attended a Laternenfest last night with our children. This year, it came on the heels of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. It has been an extraordinary week, filled with excitement and festivities. Now we need to carry some of that optimism over to our daily lives, to help us remember what really matters.