Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Second Crusaders Challenge: The Dare

This is my entry for the Second Crusaders Challenge. Our mission, should we choose to accept it:
Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, “The goldfish bowl teetered” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional, and not part of the judging criteria), see if you can write the story in your own genre (eg if you’re a horror writer, write a horror story; a romance writer, a romance story, etc).



The Dare

The goldfish bowl teetered. I threw myself to the right, trying to keep it balanced. Stupid dare. Why did I let them talk me into carrying it on my head? What was I thinking? I was only two minutes down with three to go, and half the water was already spilled on my shoulders. Dumb fish would be high and dry by the time I was done. If it didn't go crashing to the ground. I could picture it flopping around, orange turning red in a bunch of broken glass. Max'd kill me. Stay steady. Don't let it die.


I'm just under the limit at 99 words, and this definitely in my genre (middle grade, not non-fiction science; I did watch a boy swallow a live goldfish in science class once, but he didn't balance the bowl on his head).

That was fun—thanks for the challenge, Rach! You can see the other entries at Rach Writes...

26 comments:

  1. Great job! I like the idea of the dare. :)

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  2. Hey, nicely original here! Nice to make it MG and as a dare, too. :)

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  3. Oh, this one's different! I hope he - and the fish - makes it!

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  4. Your writing is really fantastic! Great flash fiction story. I'm also a scientist and a writer! I write mostly thrillers with a strong science base.

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  5. I like that it was a dare. You can get MG boys to do almost anything on a dare. Nicely written and imagined.

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  6. Oh, that's perfect. I can picture the 'lil guy in my head!

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  7. Ha, this was very clever! Loved it.

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  8. I liked it. Nice appeal to emotion, for readers of any age - without getting bogged down in the characters or relationships, which is something that it's hard to make room for in a flash fiction.

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  9. I love the dare idea! Very original.

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  10. I liked that although he was stupid enough to take on the dare (yes dares are stupid!!!) he cared about the fate of the fish - he was anyones son - liked it

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  11. Great entry! You captured the voice of the character. Loved when he thought, stupid dare. Lots of personality in those two little words!

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  12. Brilliant, first one I've read as MG.

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  13. Cute, although I'm worried about the poor fish! :-)

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  14. Ooh, I like your take on this. A dare! You did a great job at that flash fiction.

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  15. I love this, it's great! Nice job! :D

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  16. Great job Alison. First one with the bowl on the head! Well done in your genre too!

    Denise<3

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  17. I like the story. Nicely written.

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  18. A fishbowl full of water would be a tough thing to balance! Nice job!

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  19. Wait!?! What happens next? You can't leaving us hanging like that? Can you? Nice job.

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  20. Guess what! You've been shortlisted in the crusade challenge judging round!

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  21. One more bit of news - you're a finalist in the judging round!

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  22. WOW!!! That's incredible, thanks Deniz!

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  23. Very innovative! You had me in the moment with this one.

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  24. I really enjoyed your story. What a great challenge.

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